Je suis arrivée

Everything has been shockingly smooth since I've arrived. It feels like I've been in France a long time, but it hasn't even been a week. Fortunately someone going the same direction as me helped me get from the airport to the main train station. After arriving at our stop on the extremely crowded city train we walked through some side streets to get to the main train station. I really don't think I could have done it alone.

The train ride from Paris to my French home town of Metz (don't pronounce the t!) wasn't long but I slept through most of it. The first thing I did was find a cafe with wifi so that I could eat and announce my arrival. Then I went and purchaqsed a pay as you go phone. Buying this phone was my first French undertaking and the man who helped me had the patients of a budhist monk. Getting a phone was wise and I'm grateful to the people who gave me advice about it before I left the states.

After getting a phone I waited on the steps outside of the train station for one of my colleagues. While I was waiting a man in his 50's with a mustache and a hat offered to buy me a coffee. I refused and explained that I was waiting for a friend. He said he could be my friend. Then he offered to buy me a coffee againg and tried to sweeten the deal by tellingme he could show me his house. I laughed at him and firmly refused but I didn't ask him to leave. I didn't feel unsafe and I wanted to practice my French, besides later he helped me find the post office when my friend said I should meet her there instead of the train station.

The next time I hear someone say that French people are rude, I'll have to resist the urge to pinch them. I'm already planning constructive dialogues in my heard to preepmt defensiveness when the occasion arises. Everyone here has been unrelentingly nice to me. Since arriving every need has been taken care of. I never expected such a thing. Assistants were told to find a temporary housing such as a hostel while we look for a permanent place. In contrast, my colleagues are hosting me and helping me find an appartment. They have also assured me that I won't be alone on the holidays. There is plenty of abundance in my life here too and I'm joyous.

I'll wait to comment on French culture until I can distinguish what is reliably French from what is particular to the family I'm staying with and the region I'm staying in. I will say that the traffic lights here are on the same side fo the intersection as the car it directs and 85% of the time the traffic ights are on the right side fo the road. When the lights are in the air they are much higher than American traffic lights.

Hours from Take-off

I had another neat couch surfing experience. I met a wonderful 26 year old college grad who works odd jobs and runs a circus space with her friends. The energy was so positive. It was a bunch of adults who hadn't forgotten how to play. Their definitions of success seem healthy. It's a live, love, laugh, simplicity, and happiness approach to life. It's counter culture and free spirited. The circus space had an extremely high ceiling from which hung various devices for areal tricks. There were people writing a clever song in one corner, two jugglers, and two people catching a stick with other sticks. My host graciously and patiently tried to teach me some hula hoop magic. Sharing and learning permeated the building. Perhaps next June I'll have the opportunity to interact with this community again.

Another interesting experience was attending my first Mary Kay party. Mom used Mary Kay when I was a kid, so when I was young I thought of Mary Kay as a symbol of being a woman. Now that I am a woman who veiw's the world though a feminist lense it was especially fascinating to participate in a make up party. I enjoy comparing my adult perceptions with my child perceptions. The make up party consisted of a group of women carving out time for themselves as an affirmation and assertion of our own value. Yet there is an underlying acknowledgement of feeling less than through the desire to conform to a socially idealized standard of beauty. Skin care products are designed to maintain healthy skin, but women using them are motivated less by a value of health and more from a fear of being old. My understanding of beauty standards as oppressive didn't prevent me from purchasing make up and skin care products.

Our Mary Kay representative was full of passion. Mary Kay empowers women to have their own business and determine their own working conditions. In the same offhanded way I want to do most things, I would consider being a Mary Kay representative. Mary Kay is mainstream, but it's fun, and I could bring in a radical influence.

My last night in Bellingham consisted of camaraderie, song, and dance. My last weekend has been full of family and my best friend. I feel silly putting so much physical distance between myself and all the love in my life. Love grows everywhere, and I'll be back so soon. I'm into the idea of impermanence, but I think love might be an exception to that philosophy. Perhaps love between two people is impermanent, but love as an energy is a pervasive force.

I traded in My backpack on a smaller better fitting one which I acquired from a friend I serendipitously reconnected with on a city bus that I wasn't intending to take. I really admire this individual. So the whole experience was thrilling. I've managed to get rid of a few more things. I've also lost one thing, but I guess I didn't need it after all. I'm sure those who know me most are proud of me for moving every other day for three weeks yet only loosing one thing.

Backpacks and Such

I’ve been transient for 2 weeks now and I’m enjoying it much more than I thought I would. It’s been great having this time in Bellingham, to live out of my backpack and experience couchsurfing. I have officially couchsurfed once, with a lovely couple in Fairhaven. It was truly incredible. They both radiate positive energy. Their home is a sanctuary filled with art and an exquisite garden. One of them is an artist and the other spent over 20 years as a teacher, amongst other interesting things. Hearing about their experiences was inspiring. The rest of the time I’ve been staying with friends and family. I was supposed to couch surf another time last week, but he forgot about me and he had moved, so I called a friend. I have to expect that couch surfing dates might not always work out. If that happens while I’m in Metz, I’ll just mosey over to a youth hostel. I’m set to couch surf again on Tuesday and Wednesday. As of now I have set up two weeks worth of couchsurfing in Metz. This should give me plenty of time to get settled.

When I started being transient my backpack it was too full, but living out of it has helped me let go of a few things, and I’m hoping to slim my bag down some more before I depart. Currently I have an additional smaller backpack to fit everything I “need”. Experience illuminates the real necessities and I’m getting rid of things accordingly. Thankfully I’m figuring these things out before I fly with to much stuff. I also keep reminding myself that I’m going to a society of abundance. If need be, I’m sure I can find something within my budget when I arrive.

Day to day, I’m really happy and relaxed. I feel incredibly grateful to be surrounded by loved ones as well as plenty of work. Yet, I know that I am stressed on an internal level. I’m tired everyday despite getting 8-plus hours of sleep. My dream cycles are long, and scary. I typically remember 3 or 4 dreams a night. Life keeps providing me with evidence of the worthlessness of worry, and still I worry. I’m wondering how many times I’ll learn the same lesson before I am able to stay relaxed in the face of uncertainty.