Backpacks and Such

I’ve been transient for 2 weeks now and I’m enjoying it much more than I thought I would. It’s been great having this time in Bellingham, to live out of my backpack and experience couchsurfing. I have officially couchsurfed once, with a lovely couple in Fairhaven. It was truly incredible. They both radiate positive energy. Their home is a sanctuary filled with art and an exquisite garden. One of them is an artist and the other spent over 20 years as a teacher, amongst other interesting things. Hearing about their experiences was inspiring. The rest of the time I’ve been staying with friends and family. I was supposed to couch surf another time last week, but he forgot about me and he had moved, so I called a friend. I have to expect that couch surfing dates might not always work out. If that happens while I’m in Metz, I’ll just mosey over to a youth hostel. I’m set to couch surf again on Tuesday and Wednesday. As of now I have set up two weeks worth of couchsurfing in Metz. This should give me plenty of time to get settled.

When I started being transient my backpack it was too full, but living out of it has helped me let go of a few things, and I’m hoping to slim my bag down some more before I depart. Currently I have an additional smaller backpack to fit everything I “need”. Experience illuminates the real necessities and I’m getting rid of things accordingly. Thankfully I’m figuring these things out before I fly with to much stuff. I also keep reminding myself that I’m going to a society of abundance. If need be, I’m sure I can find something within my budget when I arrive.

Day to day, I’m really happy and relaxed. I feel incredibly grateful to be surrounded by loved ones as well as plenty of work. Yet, I know that I am stressed on an internal level. I’m tired everyday despite getting 8-plus hours of sleep. My dream cycles are long, and scary. I typically remember 3 or 4 dreams a night. Life keeps providing me with evidence of the worthlessness of worry, and still I worry. I’m wondering how many times I’ll learn the same lesson before I am able to stay relaxed in the face of uncertainty.