And so it is...

I recently fell in love, and it took me completely by surprise. I really didn´t see it coming, but I´m totally smitten with grammar. I´ve studied languages intensively for five years, and I´ve always resisted grammar at times even detested it. I suppose I was bound to fall under it´s charms eventually. I regularly got C´s in college language classes, because I didn´t study. I was very engaged with my readings and my papers but I couldn´t be bothered with the idiosyncrasies of grammar. I like words, and I like the idea of knowing a language. I like culture, history, and politics. I pretend I´m a spy, and spy´s need to know foreign languages. But I NEVER liked grammar. It was a necessary evil. It is the math of languages. Grammar; to many rules, not enough discourse.

So their I was in my intensive Spanish class, and we were flying through stuff. My teacher didn´t have to explain any grammar to me, just the rules of Spanish grammar. After hearing grammar so many times, I suppose most of it sunk in, although I know that I am still weak in certain grammatical aspects of each language. Now I´m motivated to study it critically, to intentionally make the observations. I want to practice grammar on a meta-conscious level, not just a habitual level of passive resignation to seemingly arbitrary rules. It´s a shame I didn´t fall in love sooner because I had the opportunity to study grammar in college. I guess it is a lesson in remembering that every moment is an opportunity, and I never know how I might be served by it.

Normally I´m a huge fan of details especially concerning art, history, and peoples lives. I never liked grammar details because it didn´t seem creative. Now I´m a fan. It is creative. If you know the grammar, then on a literature level their are so many creative possibilities. French and German literature has an additional element of beauty because the grammar of the languages is so much more specific than English.

After my Spanish class, I briefly fantasized about being a language teacher. This has always been out of the question, primarily because grammar was so loathsome. Now that I´m enchanted with all aspects of language, I feel that I could share that passion with other people. Sometimes I wish I would stop having so many exciting ideas about what to do with my life! Reincarnation is increasingly becoming an attractive idea as I struggle to accept that I probably won´t have time to do everything I want to do.