Changes

Jennifer recently bought a house and she moved back to Washington. Since the end of September I’ve known that Jenn would probably move, however she left suddenly after her and Jana had a dispute. Jennifer has been gone for two weeks, but I’m still feeling out a new equilibrium. All and all I have been three weeks in adjusting because the week Jenn packed was extremely difficult. Jana was gone for most of that week, and boxes were everywhere. Fortunately Jennifer and Jana reconnected before Jenn and the kids left. It was important to both girls that Aedan and Jana got to spend time together before they left.

I was so relieved when Jana came back home that my personal water fountains sprung to life. The girls were able to transcend their differences because there were kids involved. Extraordinary feats of relationship repair often occurs when kids are involved, but I have to wonder why can’t adults put their pride aside because of love? Why blame? Does silent treatment and hurtful burdens add anything to the lives of people in conflict?

In any case, the house is quieter, and I have been staying extra busy to alleviate sad feelings. I’m happy for Jennifer and her family. It’s wonderful that she is able to buy a house. I admire her strength everyday. I still miss her and the kids though. I miss silly conversations with Jennifer and all the ridiculous things she says. I miss playing cars and cooking with Aedan. I miss tickling Morgan, and I miss Kenley’s sweet smile. Even for though it was short the time we had together was truly special. My poor brother in law must be heart broken without them. I keep Sam in mind and think, “I can’t really complain, but sometimes I still do…”

I’ve been working on my relationship with Jana since I arrived, and I’m starting to feel the love grow. My relationship with Jana is teaching me how to love. Patience and love is building trust between us. My strategy to react defensively is shifting. It’s becoming more and more evident to me that defensiveness and justifications only creates holes. The past few days when I hug Jana, I don’t get the feeling that she is embracing me out of a sense of obligation. We are healing.