Oh, Sally....

The last time I went into work, I dove in for a double. That's sixteen consecutive days in the southern Utah desert with troubled teenagers. I was really nervous about my capacity to function well out there for so long. I thought I would become reactive and impatient by the end of my two weeks.

 

Fortunately I had the best possible double. The weather was mid 80's and clear the entire time. Such a blessing. My group was very functional too. I would say that I got a bit impatient, but the result was that I didn't put as much energy into the kids. Which is fine, the students need to figure things out for themselves, and I  need to take care of myself.

During my two weeks I worked with same girls group. It was great to be able to get to know the students that much better. A few of the girls took a little longer to open up. I was also better able to identify patterns which were helpful to the students therapy.

There is no reason for me to do a double again. Anyway, I don't think I could get so lucky with the weather and the group twice. But I do feel stronger and more capable.

One of the girls I worked with on my double, Sally, was part of my shitty week. Sally is extremely manipulative, rebellious, attention seeking, and volatile . Therapists suspect that Sally has boarderline personality disorder. It's important to keep really solid boundaries with Sally and communicate assertively.

It took a long time and lots of testing for Sally to realized I wouldn't flinch because she called me a bitch or cried or asked why. I had to realize that the minute I tried to reason with Sally, then I was empowering her. I had to state my directives confidently and then disengage. By the end of two weeks Sally was mostly compliant.

This job has helped me be more stable while others are feeling uncomfortable. I hate it when people are mad at me; even when I know that the angry person isn't being fair or logical. It's hard for me to remain confident when someone is having an emotional outpour. This job forces me to be more less emotional and have firmer boundaries, otherwise the kids eat you alive. I need to carry these budding skills further. I still have trouble with confidence and boundaries during hiking, and in my personal life.