WARNING! Should you visit France, take note that it is only acceptable to say “Bonjour!” once a day per person you meet. I found this out after a month of using “Bonjour!” the same way I would use “hello”. I would say “Bonjour!” to my colleagues every time I entered the staff room, and every time I saw them in the hall. I must have said “Bonjour!” to some people upwards of 5 times daily. I laughed really hard when I discovered my folly. I wonder why nobody else clued me in! I guess I’m going to have to start using the other “hello” option “Salut!”.
Recently an acquaintance named Gildas told me I’m the reason people aren’t allowed to talk on cell phones and drive. Everyone in the room laughed, and I was clueless. Someone was kind enough to explain that the gestures I rely on to be understood are creative. So I joined the laughter, and promised I won’t need gestures in February. Later I told Gildas, “I like to help”. He responded, “I don’t understand”. So after carefully reconsidering the construction and vocabulary of my phrase and adding a few gestures for good measure I restated, “I like to help”. Gildas laughed at me, and said that my phrase was correct the first time. At that moment it occurred to me that I was being teased about my logic and habits. I had a good laugh about this. It was relieving to be misunderstood on a pseudo intellectual level after a month of being told countless times daily that someone didn’t understand me, because what I said was incomprehensible. I spent the weekend with Gildas and he tried several times to joke with me, but I don’t get jokes, sarcasm, or teasing in French yet. It’s all I can do to understand the literal. It must have amused him to watch me struggle, because he also spoke in French proverbs which are much harder to understand than jokes. My first French course starts next Friday.
Myself and many French women are in love with Christophe Mae at the moment. Check out the video of my favorite song! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_kAH8GyNNA
Friday, October 31, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Waving
Americans like to wave. It’s a way to acknowledge people. Germans are less enthusiastic about the waving, but they have a similar attitude. French people have a whole different attitude all together. While in France, I have received some funny looks for waving and I was starting to get the feeling that my gesture wasn’t entirely appreciated. However it takes more than a few awkward waves to break an old habit. Therefore, when a car drove by while I was playing on a deserted country road with Axel, (the son of my French Family), I waved. I was a little shocked when the driver turned around, got out of the car, and started talking to me. I asked him if one of the boys playing soccer in the field was his son, and he said no. We chatted a little more, and then he left. Upon recounting this experience to Carole I was told that in France people only wave to friends and it implies one should stop and chat. Oh la la!
The French custom toward waving is particularly amusing since the French say “Bonjour!” every chance they get. I walked into the doctors office and quietly took my seat like I normally would in the States, but the people must have thought I was rude! Everyone who entered the waiting room after me said “Bonjour!” and everyone waiting politely responded in chorus “Bonjour!” How could I have known?
The French custom toward waving is particularly amusing since the French say “Bonjour!” every chance they get. I walked into the doctors office and quietly took my seat like I normally would in the States, but the people must have thought I was rude! Everyone who entered the waiting room after me said “Bonjour!” and everyone waiting politely responded in chorus “Bonjour!” How could I have known?
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Schedule
My life is relaxing here in Metz. I only spend about 32 hours doing work-like activities per week. As a frame of reference, I worked about 30 hours while I was a full time student and track athlete. I never realized I was so stressed as a student because I was always happy, but now that I have a more balanced schedule I can feel a radical difference in my body.
Mondays I arrive in Florange at 8:00am. I only teach two classes on Monday, so I spend the rest of the day making lesson plans and pretending to be a French middle schooler. The first couple of times my students saw me taking classes with them they were shocked. It’s good for my French to sit in on classes, but it’s also good for my relationship with the students. I only teach each student once every two or three weeks, so it is really hard to learn names, build a relationship, and see progress.
Tuesday and Thursday I’m at school from 8am until 5pm and I spend most of that time teaching. Wednesday I babysit all day for a wonderful nine year old boy named Paulo. Friday I’m off.
In the evenings Monday through Thursday I usually eat diner in the cafeteria with my friend Ursula. After diner I typically go to my room to write e-mails, skype, or read.
On the weekends (Friday through Sunday!!!) I go out on Friday or Saturday night, I explore Metz, I run errands, and I spend time with my French family. I stay fairly busy, but it’s an intentional busyness, not overwhelming busyness. I was dreading living alone, but thus far it hasn’t been as lonely as last time. I would prefer to have someone to say good morning and good night too, but I spend all day interacting with people so coming home hasn’t been too bad.
I just updated my facebook with pictures from before I left, and I am hoping to put up some pictures of France next week. If you are interested in what I did before I left for France you can click on this link. http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2134084&id=25913832
Mondays I arrive in Florange at 8:00am. I only teach two classes on Monday, so I spend the rest of the day making lesson plans and pretending to be a French middle schooler. The first couple of times my students saw me taking classes with them they were shocked. It’s good for my French to sit in on classes, but it’s also good for my relationship with the students. I only teach each student once every two or three weeks, so it is really hard to learn names, build a relationship, and see progress.
Tuesday and Thursday I’m at school from 8am until 5pm and I spend most of that time teaching. Wednesday I babysit all day for a wonderful nine year old boy named Paulo. Friday I’m off.
In the evenings Monday through Thursday I usually eat diner in the cafeteria with my friend Ursula. After diner I typically go to my room to write e-mails, skype, or read.
On the weekends (Friday through Sunday!!!) I go out on Friday or Saturday night, I explore Metz, I run errands, and I spend time with my French family. I stay fairly busy, but it’s an intentional busyness, not overwhelming busyness. I was dreading living alone, but thus far it hasn’t been as lonely as last time. I would prefer to have someone to say good morning and good night too, but I spend all day interacting with people so coming home hasn’t been too bad.
I just updated my facebook with pictures from before I left, and I am hoping to put up some pictures of France next week. If you are interested in what I did before I left for France you can click on this link. http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2134084&id=25913832
Monday, October 13, 2008
Big Sigh
Thanks to the help of my colleagues I have settled into the Foyzez Mozart, a comfortable all girls dormitory. Under no circumstances are boys allowed to visit the rooms! The girls are between 16 – 25 years old, and we are all affectionately referred to as “young girls”. The women who live at Foyez Mozart are students, workers, mothers, or all three. Additionally, everyone who lives there is qualified to receive housing assistance from the government. It is evident that the staff at Foyez Mozart really strive to provide a safe and understanding place for young women who are trying to establish themselves.
My room is bright yellow with a small kitchenette and bathroom. I am also on a meal plan of 16 meals a month in the cafeteria. Foyez Mozart is right in the heart of Metz and the lease is month to month. Best of all I’ve made friends with a Spanish language assistant from Chile who lives two floors down.
I’m better at French than when I arrived, but I have a long way to go. At the moment I’m truly embarrassed to say I studied French in college. French frustrates me in ways that I don’t remember being frustrated in German. I’m trying to look at it as an opportunity to practice patience and build compassion. Several common words are maddeningly similar to each other in French. This led to me telling my friend that his cat is a good slipper, when I meant to say hunter. If two words are similar I can usually hear the difference but it’s much harder to articulate the difference. Moreover, French is spoken like a language lubricated with ky jelly. Thus French words slide together into a rapid word mess creating notoriously beautiful yet incomprehensible sounds.
Despite my frequent requests for phrases to be repeated slowly, French people have been very patient with me. They regularly say things like you speak more French than I speak English. My favorite thing is occasionally someone will tell me I speak French like a German.
Now that I have the basic living necessities organized I think my French will improve exponentially. I am reading more, and I am auditing classes at my middle school. I was also fortunate enough to get an all day baby sitting gig every Wednesday. Baby sitting should be a rewarding way to keep busy and learn French. My goal is to be able to read Simone de Beauvoir by March.
I finished my first week of teaching and I’m starting another. I’m still adjusting to teaching, and I’ll report back later.
My room is bright yellow with a small kitchenette and bathroom. I am also on a meal plan of 16 meals a month in the cafeteria. Foyez Mozart is right in the heart of Metz and the lease is month to month. Best of all I’ve made friends with a Spanish language assistant from Chile who lives two floors down.
I’m better at French than when I arrived, but I have a long way to go. At the moment I’m truly embarrassed to say I studied French in college. French frustrates me in ways that I don’t remember being frustrated in German. I’m trying to look at it as an opportunity to practice patience and build compassion. Several common words are maddeningly similar to each other in French. This led to me telling my friend that his cat is a good slipper, when I meant to say hunter. If two words are similar I can usually hear the difference but it’s much harder to articulate the difference. Moreover, French is spoken like a language lubricated with ky jelly. Thus French words slide together into a rapid word mess creating notoriously beautiful yet incomprehensible sounds.
Despite my frequent requests for phrases to be repeated slowly, French people have been very patient with me. They regularly say things like you speak more French than I speak English. My favorite thing is occasionally someone will tell me I speak French like a German.
Now that I have the basic living necessities organized I think my French will improve exponentially. I am reading more, and I am auditing classes at my middle school. I was also fortunate enough to get an all day baby sitting gig every Wednesday. Baby sitting should be a rewarding way to keep busy and learn French. My goal is to be able to read Simone de Beauvoir by March.
I finished my first week of teaching and I’m starting another. I’m still adjusting to teaching, and I’ll report back later.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Je suis arrivée
Everything has been shockingly smooth since I've arrived. It feels like I've been in France a long time, but it hasn't even been a week. Fortunately someone going the same direction as me helped me get from the airport to the main train station. After arriving at our stop on the extremely crowded city train we walked through some side streets to get to the main train station. I really don't think I could have done it alone.
The train ride from Paris to my French home town of Metz (don't pronounce the t!) wasn't long but I slept through most of it. The first thing I did was find a cafe with wifi so that I could eat and announce my arrival. Then I went and purchaqsed a pay as you go phone. Buying this phone was my first French undertaking and the man who helped me had the patients of a budhist monk. Getting a phone was wise and I'm grateful to the people who gave me advice about it before I left the states.
After getting a phone I waited on the steps outside of the train station for one of my colleagues. While I was waiting a man in his 50's with a mustache and a hat offered to buy me a coffee. I refused and explained that I was waiting for a friend. He said he could be my friend. Then he offered to buy me a coffee againg and tried to sweeten the deal by tellingme he could show me his house. I laughed at him and firmly refused but I didn't ask him to leave. I didn't feel unsafe and I wanted to practice my French, besides later he helped me find the post office when my friend said I should meet her there instead of the train station.
The next time I hear someone say that French people are rude, I'll have to resist the urge to pinch them. I'm already planning constructive dialogues in my heard to preepmt defensiveness when the occasion arises. Everyone here has been unrelentingly nice to me. Since arriving every need has been taken care of. I never expected such a thing. Assistants were told to find a temporary housing such as a hostel while we look for a permanent place. In contrast, my colleagues are hosting me and helping me find an appartment. They have also assured me that I won't be alone on the holidays. There is plenty of abundance in my life here too and I'm joyous.
I'll wait to comment on French culture until I can distinguish what is reliably French from what is particular to the family I'm staying with and the region I'm staying in. I will say that the traffic lights here are on the same side fo the intersection as the car it directs and 85% of the time the traffic ights are on the right side fo the road. When the lights are in the air they are much higher than American traffic lights.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Hours from Take-off
I had another neat couch surfing experience. I met a wonderful 26 year old college grad who works odd jobs and runs a circus space with her friends. The energy was so positive. It was a bunch of adults who hadn't forgotten how to play. Their definitions of success seem healthy. It's a live, love, laugh, simplicity, and happiness approach to life. It's counter culture and free spirited. The circus space had an extremely high ceiling from which hung various devices for areal tricks. There were people writing a clever song in one corner, two jugglers, and two people catching a stick with other sticks. My host graciously and patiently tried to teach me some hula hoop magic. Sharing and learning permeated the building. Perhaps next June I'll have the opportunity to interact with this community again.
Another interesting experience was attending my first Mary Kay party. Mom used Mary Kay when I was a kid, so when I was young I thought of Mary Kay as a symbol of being a woman. Now that I am a woman who veiw's the world though a feminist lense it was especially fascinating to participate in a make up party. I enjoy comparing my adult perceptions with my child perceptions. The make up party consisted of a group of women carving out time for themselves as an affirmation and assertion of our own value. Yet there is an underlying acknowledgement of feeling less than through the desire to conform to a socially idealized standard of beauty. Skin care products are designed to maintain healthy skin, but women using them are motivated less by a value of health and more from a fear of being old. My understanding of beauty standards as oppressive didn't prevent me from purchasing make up and skin care products.
Our Mary Kay representative was full of passion. Mary Kay empowers women to have their own business and determine their own working conditions. In the same offhanded way I want to do most things, I would consider being a Mary Kay representative. Mary Kay is mainstream, but it's fun, and I could bring in a radical influence.
My last night in Bellingham consisted of camaraderie, song, and dance. My last weekend has been full of family and my best friend. I feel silly putting so much physical distance between myself and all the love in my life. Love grows everywhere, and I'll be back so soon. I'm into the idea of impermanence, but I think love might be an exception to that philosophy. Perhaps love between two people is impermanent, but love as an energy is a pervasive force.
I traded in My backpack on a smaller better fitting one which I acquired from a friend I serendipitously reconnected with on a city bus that I wasn't intending to take. I really admire this individual. So the whole experience was thrilling. I've managed to get rid of a few more things. I've also lost one thing, but I guess I didn't need it after all. I'm sure those who know me most are proud of me for moving every other day for three weeks yet only loosing one thing.
Another interesting experience was attending my first Mary Kay party. Mom used Mary Kay when I was a kid, so when I was young I thought of Mary Kay as a symbol of being a woman. Now that I am a woman who veiw's the world though a feminist lense it was especially fascinating to participate in a make up party. I enjoy comparing my adult perceptions with my child perceptions. The make up party consisted of a group of women carving out time for themselves as an affirmation and assertion of our own value. Yet there is an underlying acknowledgement of feeling less than through the desire to conform to a socially idealized standard of beauty. Skin care products are designed to maintain healthy skin, but women using them are motivated less by a value of health and more from a fear of being old. My understanding of beauty standards as oppressive didn't prevent me from purchasing make up and skin care products.
Our Mary Kay representative was full of passion. Mary Kay empowers women to have their own business and determine their own working conditions. In the same offhanded way I want to do most things, I would consider being a Mary Kay representative. Mary Kay is mainstream, but it's fun, and I could bring in a radical influence.
My last night in Bellingham consisted of camaraderie, song, and dance. My last weekend has been full of family and my best friend. I feel silly putting so much physical distance between myself and all the love in my life. Love grows everywhere, and I'll be back so soon. I'm into the idea of impermanence, but I think love might be an exception to that philosophy. Perhaps love between two people is impermanent, but love as an energy is a pervasive force.
I traded in My backpack on a smaller better fitting one which I acquired from a friend I serendipitously reconnected with on a city bus that I wasn't intending to take. I really admire this individual. So the whole experience was thrilling. I've managed to get rid of a few more things. I've also lost one thing, but I guess I didn't need it after all. I'm sure those who know me most are proud of me for moving every other day for three weeks yet only loosing one thing.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Backpacks and Such
I’ve been transient for 2 weeks now and I’m enjoying it much more than I thought I would. It’s been great having this time in Bellingham, to live out of my backpack and experience couchsurfing. I have officially couchsurfed once, with a lovely couple in Fairhaven. It was truly incredible. They both radiate positive energy. Their home is a sanctuary filled with art and an exquisite garden. One of them is an artist and the other spent over 20 years as a teacher, amongst other interesting things. Hearing about their experiences was inspiring. The rest of the time I’ve been staying with friends and family. I was supposed to couch surf another time last week, but he forgot about me and he had moved, so I called a friend. I have to expect that couch surfing dates might not always work out. If that happens while I’m in Metz, I’ll just mosey over to a youth hostel. I’m set to couch surf again on Tuesday and Wednesday. As of now I have set up two weeks worth of couchsurfing in Metz. This should give me plenty of time to get settled.
When I started being transient my backpack it was too full, but living out of it has helped me let go of a few things, and I’m hoping to slim my bag down some more before I depart. Currently I have an additional smaller backpack to fit everything I “need”. Experience illuminates the real necessities and I’m getting rid of things accordingly. Thankfully I’m figuring these things out before I fly with to much stuff. I also keep reminding myself that I’m going to a society of abundance. If need be, I’m sure I can find something within my budget when I arrive.
Day to day, I’m really happy and relaxed. I feel incredibly grateful to be surrounded by loved ones as well as plenty of work. Yet, I know that I am stressed on an internal level. I’m tired everyday despite getting 8-plus hours of sleep. My dream cycles are long, and scary. I typically remember 3 or 4 dreams a night. Life keeps providing me with evidence of the worthlessness of worry, and still I worry. I’m wondering how many times I’ll learn the same lesson before I am able to stay relaxed in the face of uncertainty.
When I started being transient my backpack it was too full, but living out of it has helped me let go of a few things, and I’m hoping to slim my bag down some more before I depart. Currently I have an additional smaller backpack to fit everything I “need”. Experience illuminates the real necessities and I’m getting rid of things accordingly. Thankfully I’m figuring these things out before I fly with to much stuff. I also keep reminding myself that I’m going to a society of abundance. If need be, I’m sure I can find something within my budget when I arrive.
Day to day, I’m really happy and relaxed. I feel incredibly grateful to be surrounded by loved ones as well as plenty of work. Yet, I know that I am stressed on an internal level. I’m tired everyday despite getting 8-plus hours of sleep. My dream cycles are long, and scary. I typically remember 3 or 4 dreams a night. Life keeps providing me with evidence of the worthlessness of worry, and still I worry. I’m wondering how many times I’ll learn the same lesson before I am able to stay relaxed in the face of uncertainty.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
